I have written at length on the topic of female sexuality in my book Minimalist Meeting, Mating, and Online Dating, and have been featured online as a relationship expert and online dating guru, and in all of my discussions the key to female sexual empowerment is self-confidence. Women must seize their inner sexual confidence in order to find true happiness, and nothing will empower them more than leather and Chantilly lace against their skin.
One of the major themes of my relationship research is the internal struggle women face finding their sexual climax. My findings have discussed the lack of confidence women feel about their bodies, their pleasure, and their inability to achieve sexual satisfaction. Consequently, women move away from achieving fulfillment and are left restless craving attention. It is not easy for a woman to take charge and realign herself when doubt has set in. As I grow older and take on titles such as “wife, mother, and educator,” I feel there is validity to admitting some cosmetic enhancements simply make a woman feel good. My feminist friends everywhere just cringed at the mention of “cosmetic enhancements,” but even I must admit they can lead to increased female satisfaction on a deeper internal level.
I think we all understand that self-confidence comes from within, self-confidence being the way we perceive ourselves in relation to social ideals, but lately I have been startled to find myself validating the role external enhancements play on female internal doubts. Confidence can be lifted through cosmetic changes that increase certain moods like wellness, status, and arousal. Let me explain, I don’t meant to say self-confidence can be purchased, but I will make a claim that a woman's internal self-confidence can be heightened through the purchase of certain cosmetic enhancements. Let’s take a look at my claims from three different facets:
Arousal – Sometimes a woman is so insecure, even with her long-term partner, that she refuses to be naked in front of them with the lights on. I feel the previous sentence should be laughable, but it happens far more than Western society would like to admit. This situation certainly leads to challenges while partners are sexually intimate. A friend of mine confessed that her husband buys her luxury lingerie so she will feel sexy when they are sexually intimate, she specifically highlighted leather items as empowering. I was intrigued. I asked my friend Johnson Grey, lingerie purveyor and Director of Marketing for www.Innerwear.com, his opinion on the subject. “Women want to feel strong and assertive," Mr. Grey decided. "Power is a basic primal need, and leather speaks to women on a conscious and subconscious level.” Johnson also highlights Something Wicked’s 2014-2015 Ava collection, as a trend alert. The Ava collection can be viewed here:
Wellness - A male friend of mine was discussing his wife’s libido and how it skyrocketed when she was working out and staying fit over the summer. She had apparently joined a new gym and really enjoyed the internal wellness it created thereby increasing the way she perceived herself to the outside world. Her self-confidence was boosted by what a simple gym program had delivered. Isolating female self-confidence into a gym membership is a stretch, but if seasonal doldrums lead to internal uncertainties, finding a new level of wellness may be just what the female libido ordered! Shannon Moore, Home of Wealth’s minimalist fitness editor swears by www.benderfitness.com as an excellent minimalist resource for wellness. Owner and bikini contest winner, Melissa Bender is beginning her next 30-day challenge now!
Status – With all of the “lean in” pressure women face in the work place it is sometimes easy to become downtrodden and find shaken female self-confidence. I can “lean in” with the best of ‘em but pressure to provide results, increase efficiency, or manage workplace conflicts can stain my self-esteem without me even realizing it. I will vehemently admit sometimes my exterior needs to polish up for my interior to achieve higher status. I have turned to purchasing a new briefcase, a new scarf, or a new pair of power heels that made me feel like I could stand up and be confident in front of an audience when my internal status was threatened. As a minimalist, I will never encourage wild shopping sprees when you feel blue, but I will encourage the concept that nobody is perfect and it is ok if you want to indulge resources on a high quality timeless status boost.
I believe my minimalist readers can relate to this passage, if they choose to admit it, because while living a 100% uncluttered life is ideal, it is not always easy. Sometimes even a minimalist has to just buy something frivolous! The above facets are completely anecdotal but I reason, as a society, we need to point out the fact that some frivolous purchases, new trends, and cosmetic enhancements Simply. Feel. Good.